Losing Battle

Posted by JaDiE ,

Maybe it i just meant to be...

i am always fighting a losing battle...
Never on the winning side...

Till now I have no idea what i am doing...
Nothing i do is ever good enough for anyone to appreciate..
I am no superhuman, I have feelings too...
Everyone just selfishly think for themselves but expect others to understand, care, be thoughtful

At the end, i have only myself to blame.. 
Who ask me to give so much?
Who ask me to care for others
Who ask me to be understanding always
No one... Its just me being too busybody..

I should just mind my own FUCKING business like everyone else...
Then i wouldn't feel so hurt and pain inside

This is always de usual case..
Nothing special..
Happen again n again n again
I never learnt my lesson
Ended up doing the same thing again n again

How stupid can one get...
That is me...
The dumbest one of all mankind

Miracle dun exist for dumb people.
Making it possible just dun work for no brainer like me

I highly over estimated myself..
Thinking that 'Maybe'
There is just no maybe..
Either a Yes or a No


1 comments

Is she a bitch?

Posted by JaDiE , Labels:

Recently i heard a story that if u hooked up with your fren's ex bf, then u are d bitch...
I din know there is a rule not to date fren's ex bf?
Is it true?
I mean it is not like it is like right after they break up?
is it a total no no or there is a time frame to it

Can anyone explain to me?
i really dun understand..

I mean i dun mind if anyone of my fren wanna date my ex bf..
not that there is anyone u know wan to.. lols..

so is it a girl crime to date your fren bf?

3 comments

Shontelle- Impossible

Posted by JaDiE , Labels:

I remember years ago
Someone told me I should take
Caution when it comes to love
I did, I did
And you were strong and I was not
My illusion, my mistake
I was careless, I forgot
I did
And now when all is done
There is nothing to say
You have gone and so effortlessly
You have won
You can go ahead tell them

Tell them all I know now
Shout it from the roof top
Write it on the sky love
All we had is gone now
Tell them I was happy
And my heart is broken
All my scars are open
Tell them what I hoped would be
Impossible, impossible
Impossible, impossible

Falling out of love is hard
Falling for betrayal is worst
Broken trust and broken hearts
I know, I know
Thinking all you need is there
Building faith on love is worst
Empty promises will wear
I know (i know)
And know when all is gone
There is nothing to say
And if you're done with embarrassing me
On your own you can go ahead tell them

 Tell them all I know now
Shout it from the roof top
Write it on the sky love
All we had is gone now
Tell them I was happy
And my heart is broken
All my scars are open
Tell them what I hoped would be
Impossible, impossible
Impossible, impossible
Impossible, impossible
Impossible, impossible
Impossible, impossible

Ooh impossible (yeah yeah)

I remember years ago
Someone told me I should take
Caution when it comes to love
I did

Tell them all I know now
Shout it from the roof top
Write it on the sky love
All we had is gone now
Tell them I was happy (i was happy)
And my heart is broken
All my scars are open
Tell them what I hoped would be
Impossible, impossible
Impossible, impossible
Impossible, impossible
Impossible, impossible
Impossible, impossible

I remember years ago
Someone told me I should take
Caution when it comes to love
I did


* sometimes when i think back, this is how i feel  guess, not that i am still in love but the  pain is just that unbearable!

2 comments

Mariah Carey Ft Ne-yo - Angel Cry

Posted by JaDiE , Labels:

Mariah:
I shouldn't have walked away
I would've stayed if you said
We could've made everything OK
But we just
Threw the blame back and forth
We treated love like a sport
The final blow hit so low
I'm still on the ground

I couldn't have prepared myself for this fall
Shattered in pieces curled on the floor
Super natural love conquers all
'Member we used to touch the sky
And

Lightning don't strike
The same place twice
When you and I said goodbye
I felt the angels cry
True love's a gift
We let it drift
In a storm
Every night
I feel the angels cry

C'mon babe can't our love be revived
Bring it back and we gon' make it right
I'm on the edge just tryin' to survive
As the angels cry

Ne-Yo:
I thought we'd be forever and always
You were serenity
You took away the bad days
Didn't always treat you right
But it was OK
I do somethin' stupid
And you still stay with me

But you can only go for so long
Doing the one you claim to love wrong
Before too much is enough
You look up
Find your love gone
And

We were so good together
How come we could not weather
This storm and just do better
Why did we say goodbye

'Cause lightning don't strike
The same place twice
When you and I said goodbye
I felt the angels cry
True love's a gift
We let it drift
In a storm
Now every night
I feel the angels cry

Mariah & Ne-Yo:
C'mon babe can't our love be revived
Bring it back and we gon' make it right
I'm on the edge just tryin' to survive
As the angels cry

Baby I'm missin' you
Don't allow love to lose
We gotta ride it through
I'm reaching for you

Baby I'm missin' you
Don't allow love to lose
We gotta ride it through
I'm reaching for you

Lightning don't strike
The same place twice
When you and I said goodbye
I felt the angels cry
True love's a gift
But we let it slip
In a storm
Every night
I feel the angels cry

Oh babe, the angels cry


* this lyrics hold dearly to my heart, felt like this was meant for me...

0 comments

Moments before you sleep...

Posted by JaDiE , Labels:

It is 11.55pm, just finish shower.. just finish cooking my all-in-1 porridge for tomolo breakfast...
My sweats is like freeflow even though i just finish shower only... damn!!
Anyways, i am having 1 small little bowl of my porridge because it look so tempting in the pot, as if it was calling out to me to eat it...
Raining with thunderstorm and light though it is not heavy...
My internet sucks at the moment.. but i still manage to type this post...


Lately I am slowly picking up my slacking life back to order...
Having a test this week fri, Law - 4 steps process.. am gonna suck big time..
Despite that i think i did well on my test 1 n 2, got (10 out of 15%) & (14.5 out of 20%)... not exceptionally well but it is good enuff for me.. hehe...
Fren comin from kl tomolo... Convo this week...
Might have a photoshoot for glasses this week.. but i dun really have any confident doin it because i dun feel good about myself.. when u dont feel good bout yourself.. nothing feels good...

Dunno why my mood is a bit cranky lately.. as per my roommate i am always cranky.. i dun deny just that i never get to calm down n relax.. as if my mind is not in my head.. i remember this but i forget that...
Hmmm... is that de sign of getting old.... oh no... no beauty.. no body... no looks... now no brain.. i am a goner...nobody wan liao lo... Oh dear... gotta do something about it... lols...


Anyways.. time for my yummy porridge






Good Night...

4 comments

Ignorance

Posted by JaDiE , Labels:


Amos Bronson Alcott:
To be ignorant of one's ignorance is the malady of the ignorant.

There are people around who can make u so piss because of something that they do. I dun understand how some ppl have live their to pretend someone they are not but yet at the same time people around actually know that it is not the real them.

I am so FCUKING piss now because of some idiot... thought it'll be bad of me to say it all out here but overall this person is starting to get on my nerves. If only there is some ways to tell this very paticular person.

I wan to tell this person;
The more clever u think u are, the more stupid it seems u are to me...
There are things that i don't say out loud doesn;t mean i dun notice, i dun feel, it is because i dun wanna show it out that u are such a person.
well it seems that it is not only me, other ppl araound u do feel the same too.. 
So pls FCUKING wake up, n c... u are not gaining any popularity, instead u are driving your frens away!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thank Q for listening~ Peace...







 

0 comments

12.12am

Posted by JaDiE ,

I am suppose to sleeping right now...

but it seems i have alot in mind...
it is dragging me away from my comfy bed..
lookin at my room so big and empty..
it seems to be lacking of something...

what shall i do?
i dunno...
still busting all my brain cells thinking...
hope time will tell me quickly...
physical and mentally freaking awake...

pls show me some insight soon.......

1 comments

To have or not?

Posted by JaDiE , Labels:

I guess it is really true, as u get older the less daring u become.
Am i becoming one?
This year I'm at already 25, 1 quarter of my life gone.. though no regrets but i have accomplish nothing, no future, no companion, no money, no career... no nothing. So what have i been doing all this while?
Seriously... if I wan to put it into words, I have been enjoying everything bits of my life with the ups n downs that i have been through.

Maybe i can start finding a companion for myself, but i have no quality that attracts good guys i guess, or any guys at all.
A family is what every girls want, but for me i guess i prefer having a baby more than having a husband. I mean I guess I have a high expectation. What do u wan from a husband, your companion, soulmate, best friends? I dunno, taking care or me = but i can do that myself, be there for me through my ups n downs = my 5 babies and my family can be there too, to love me = refer to the previous answer, the list can go on n on n on but my answer basically will be same. I know my family cannot always be there for me forever, especially my parents but to complete trust that someone not to betray you, or hurt you in anyway, to love you for who u are no matter u are fat, thin, bitchy, stupid, lazy etc, like your family, do u think i can find one?

I dunno. Lately a lot of friends are getting married one by one, but me still all alone. This kinda sucks.
To have something that i wan badly i may have to give up ona lot of others things.........
Is it worth it? I dunno, i really dunno............
Am i doing the right thing? I also dunno...
There is nothing that I know or i should say I am in control of...
I am scared... having all the negative thoughts in me... 
In the end, I decided to pursue what my heart tell me to...
No regrets for me even though if in the end I fell into deep shit.

May whoever is up there bless me with all the luck I need.

Jade


 

0 comments

Utter Hopeless

Posted by JaDiE , Labels:

I dun understand how people around can treat you like shit when I always treat them with respect and kindness. I always believe what comes around goes around, but seriously who likes the bad things happening to them?
Who can you trust nowadays when you can't even trust yourself?
Can anyone tell me or show me some guideline how to protect yourself?
I always go the extra mile for people around me, but is there anyone willing to do the same? I don't know...
Is not like i ask a lot or what, just do not treat me like a stupid, that's all, is it too hard?
It is so easy people can hurt you like that, without you wanting or knowing it....
I don't like it, I hate it!!!
I never voice out myself doesn't mean i dun feel anything..
I try to understand on people behalf but in the end what did I get??
Nothing!!! Pure fakeness
I really have lost hope!!!
I am getting very tired with life has given... obstacles after obstacles i have been thru, i just wan to lie on someone shoulder and they can help me ease some of my burden!!
Maybe i am just asking too  much................

0 comments

1st post of the Year 2010

Posted by JaDiE , Labels:

Ox Personality = My Personality
The Ox is a very stable and reliable animal. Just like its animal counterpart that goes day after day helping the farmer to plough the field without a complaint, Ox people are very hardworking, stick at a task longer than anyone else and keep going. They are very meticulous and systematic and prefer to stick with the known rather than the unknowns. Ox people also divide the world into 2 categories – the good and the bad and they stick with their decisions without any regrets.

The Ox can be even-tempered for most part but if you have managed to anger the Ox then start running immediately because they can be very impulsive when they get angry. The Ox people are very possessive and protective in nature especially when it comes to family. They can very stubborn and conservative, but they are also very patient and caring which makes them a very good friend to have.

In love the Ox people usually choose a partner who will be quick to put a protective arm around them in times of need and their love for someone usually lasts a lifetime.

So what is the conclusion? Am I Like that?

0 comments
Subscribe to: Comments (Atom)