dear diaRY

Recently come to the abrupt realization that my life isn't going anyway, it is not anything close to what I wanted it to be? How can I let my life rot away like that? Whether it's spurred by a mid-life crisis, a near-death experience, a psychedelic epiphany, or a painful separation, a must is needed to change the direction that my life is heading.
Things I Should Do

1. Try to remember what I've always wanted. What did I dream about being and doing? At many points in my lives, when I encounter obstacles, I tend to settle. What have I settled for? What did I give up on when I settled? Not saying I regret what is did but just re-evaluating me again.
2. Be honest with myself. Pretending that my life is great when it's really not is only going to make things worse. Am I? Sure, I've got plenty to be grateful for, but there's nothing wrong with seeking more growth and fulfillment. Trying not to feel that by wanting more, I’m forsaking what I already have.
3. Write down my goals. Where do I want to be in 5 years? 10 years? What do I want to accomplish before you die? Seriously I really don’t know. I know this is bad but I am trying my best. Oh well, we always need to start somewhere don’t we?
4. Consider making a big change. Switch careers, move to a different area, or end a relationship that's bringing me down. Stop my life from becoming one big routine. Easy said that done. Been there, done that, but somehow going out of that zone is so much more difficult than I thought.
5. Expand my comfort zone. Do something that's completely out of character. Shave my head, wear a miniskirt, try karaoke, do a cartwheel barefoot on the grass, etc. Be spontaneous and daring. Even if it has nothing to do with my goals, stepping out of my comfort zone will help me get used to facing my fears, especially people's reactions when I do something they'd never expect you to do. So maybe I should start doing something crazy now.
6. Remember that it is my life to live. I should choose what is best for me but at the same time I have this invisible burden to live up to people expectation. Not saying it is not good, maybe I am weak or I give up easily, but I just can’t deal with pressure in a good way.

Tips I found

* The key is to stay focused on your dreams, no matter how far you may be from accomplishing them. If you don't remember what you want out of life, it's awfully easy to lose your way.
* Focus on what matters the most to you and pursue it unmistakably to the point of being able to grasp only a moment.
* It is better to have experience than not.
* Don't ever think "It's too late," or "I'm too old." It's never too late, and you can never be too old to find happiness. Read Maria Shriver's book "Just Who Will You Be?"
* Visualize yourself as being the way you want to be. See yourself being congratulated, or hugged for what you have done.
* Visualization is very powerful. If done often, it can work.
* Don't hang out with people that bring you down no matter how close to you they are (family, old friends, etc).
* Be patient. Remember that this develops over time. Fluctuations occur throughout the day.
* Soothe and replenish your spirit.
o Quiet your mind. Sit quietly to free and empty your mind of thought.
o Rest frequently. Find a comfortable spot to unwind, relax or take a nap. (My favorite because I am always doing this.)
o Learn to meditate. ( Perhaps daydreaming is a good start. )
o Free yourself of stress and worries.
* Keep everything simple. Try not to do everything at once. There's no rush to do anything. (Taking note.)
* Experience the current moment. Think only of what is at hand. Think less about the past or future. Today is different from the past. (True, True)
* Try not to prejudge. Be open to experience. Let go of bias and expectation. (Am trying.)
* Be happy. Take time to do the things that make you happy. Satisfy your desires. (Oh no, does that mean I need to have more retail therapy?)
* Have pride. You are who you are. Take pride in your individuality. (I do but….)
* Be content. Find contentment in where you are, who you are and what you are doing. (I do, too much more than needed.)
* Take responsibility. Rectify your errors when possible. Relieve your mind. (I hope I did/)
* Be pleasant. Be kind and courteous. It warms your heart as well. (Am I not?)
* See beauty. See the beauty in everyone and everything. (Erm….)
* Fall in love. Fall in love with everyone you meet. Enjoy the spirit in others. (Okay… People.. I’m coming…)
* Take your time. Take the time to experience and enjoy your journey. (Too much time has been taken.)
* Take it easy. Remind yourself that this is for you and nobody else. (sure)
* Be private. Keep this to yourself. Let no one interfere with your inner needs. (A bit hard for me though since I can’t keep things to myself.)